Friday, October 15, 2010

Enough

When we first bought this house we had big plans. There were plans to basically double the size of the original house with many bathrooms, guest room, office, etc. We were going to get a bigger mortgage, get it all done and then be blissfully happy in our renovated and big house. A little while ago after thinking a lot about this I realised that I was feeling quite overwhelmed and stressed about the idea of such an undertaking and I was really uncomfortable about perhaps losing the history, quirks and feeling of our place through the additions of shiny and new things. You see, over the last two years of living here I have fallen in love with our house. There is nothing exceptional about it but it is just the way that it makes me feel. When I walk down through the garden I relax, I feel happy and very lucky. I feel like this every single time I come down the stairs. And I realise that it is enough for me. I discussed all this with Dave and he is completely comfortable about reassessing our plans. As long as we can replace all that needs to be replaced like our roof, shower and driveway and we continue to work on things like the landscaping, and building a deck, he is happy. And if we find that in ten years we need to extend then we will probably be in a much better financial situation to do that.

I don't know why we created this pressure for ourselves. Perhaps it was a societal pressure of striving to have more than others (or the same as others), or maybe we just hadn't given ourselves the time to love what we have first. I think that today people get so caught up in aiming to get what they don't have that they stop looking at what they do have.

I think that we all know deep down that more stuff, bigger houses, better cars, etc aren't actually going to make us more happy, but the feeling of thinking it will somehow make our lives better takes over. We get that thing that we wanted and then there is something else we want and when you think about it you are no happier than before. But, if we just get that other thing then we will be happy...and so it goes on, and on...
The funny thing is that all it takes is for you to tell yourself that enough is enough and you give yourself freedom from the cycle; the pressure lifts. It did with me anyhow.


2 comments:

  1. I loved this post. I know exactly what you mean about being content in your not so big house. I feel exactly the same about ours. Im so happy when Im in the garden tending veggies, watching the kids play with the chickens. Life is full. Life is good.
    Hugs
    D

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  2. I think you have made a very common sense decision. The lovely big houses that every one wants make for more cleaning and maintenance and only distance family members from one another. I had a little visit the other day from two elderly male friends. We live in a little highset cottage with three poky bedrooms and one small living area that does for all of our eating living entertaining and office needs. By we I mean myself a 22,20 and 16 year old. The 20 year old lives down in the garage and has a huge space compared to us although it rains in sometimes. grrr. Anyway, both of these elderly gentlemen live alone with their wives in houses so big that at one house you could fir out entire cottage into the living space. I laughed when I wondered after they had left if they noticed the space differences. But we are just as happy as they are, even taking into account that we could always use more room. Cherrie

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